


Roommates

by thatwriterlady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ADHD, Adam is John and Mary's son, Alternate Universe, Awkwardness, Castiel Has Aspergers, Castiel Likes Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Roommates, College, Dean Winchester Likes Castiel, Doctor Castiel, Doctor Dean, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Happy Family, John Winchester is a good father, M/M, Mary winchester is alive, Medical School, OCD, Sharing Feelings, Student Castiel, Student Dean, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5703364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's about to start medical school and he has been assigned a dorm room.</p><p>With a roommate.  </p><p>As he and Sam head up to his new room he gets an ominous warning from the guy down the hall about Dean's new roommate.  It unnerves Sam, but Dean thinks the guy can't be <em>that</em> bad.</p><p>Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ravenwolf36](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenwolf36/gifts).



> Dean and Sam grew up happy with BOTH parents in this one. This is another prompt, based on the picture I am putting at the beginning. I thought about how to approach this one for quite a while before I actually started writing it. I thought, how can I get this to make sense? Why would a roommate run away? And then this came to me.
> 
> So, for those of you that don't know, I based a lot of Cas' personality, quirks, and traits on myself. While I don't color coordinate my shirts in the closet, they DO have to all face the same direction, and I have more sensory issues than I'll bore you with here. I mention Dean's sensory issues as well here. While he doesn't show actual traits of Asperger's, he's on the spectrum too, and people on the spectrum still have related issues, like my younger daughter. I know a few of my readers have Asperger's too, so so you all know what I'm talking about. I believe I've talked to a few of you about this subject before. I am particular about what materials I wear (I prefer cotton, and nothing binding at the throat, so high tee shirts or turtlenecks are a no go for me), and I like materials that move with me. Anything confining or restrictive makes me panic and puts me in one hell of a bad mood. The smell of vanilla literally makes me sick to my stomach and gives me migraines. You'll see these sorts of things pop up here and there throughout the story. 
> 
> The bluntness of Cas' questions are something that I did more often when I was younger, and a reason why people singled me out as weird or a freak. I had great difficulty distinguishing between when people were joking and making fun of me (therefore people thought I was stupid, and I was called as much, despite my higher IQ), so I tended to keep to myself. I still have difficulty initiating conversations, and my reaction to going into places like the party that will be mentioned here is much the same as I made Cas react. Parallels, as you'll notice. 
> 
> Now, once a conversation has been started, I can hold my own. I do tend to have a single minded focus (I know I grate on people's nerves talking about zombies, or my books, or SPN) when talking, but I will happily talk about anything. I'm better the older I've gotten, but I still have my quirks. I still don't like big crowds and I don't like strangers to touch me or really even talk to me (How do you make friends, right? My best friend acts as my buffer most of the time. She strikes up the conversations, I get pulled into them, though I struggle to keep up sometimes).
> 
> If you ever want to talk about Asperger's and the myriad of related conditions that go with it, just let me know. 
> 
> Terms used in this story and links to information on them: 
> 
> OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder
> 
> ODD: Oppositional Defiant Disorder- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorder
> 
> ADHD/ADD: Attention Deficit (Hyperactive) Disorder- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder
> 
> Depression: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder
> 
> Anxiety: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder
> 
> In relation to my Asperger's I have mild OCD, ADD, anxiety, and depression. My older daughter also has Asperger's and she deals with ADD and very mild OCD. My younger daughter is on the spectrum but does not display actual Asperger's symptoms, but she does have ADD, moderate to severe OCD, and ODD. Anyone that has to deal with ODD knows it is NOT pleasant.
> 
> All of that being said, I do hope you enjoy the story. It took me a little longer than usual to write this one, but then again I sort of got caught up watching all 5 season of Queer as Folk. I just finished it last night. I'm now in QAF withdrawl and complaining because I demand to know what happened to Brian and Justin! Now I know how my readers feel when I leave a story off at certain points, lol!

[](http://www.pizap.com/image/707476471pizapw1452582091.jpg)  
[](http://www.pizap.com/u/707476471) on [piZap.com](http://www.pizap.com)

**AUGUST**

“This is your room.” Sam looked down at the paper in his hand and then at the number on the door, just double checking. They’d already accidentally walked in on someone down on the first floor because the room numbers were confusing. Whoops!

“Oh, don’t tell me, one of you is Novak’s new roommate,” someone down the hall said. Dean and Sam both turned to see a short guy with huge brown eyes looking at them almost in horror.

“Uh…” Dean and Sam shared a brief worried look before turning their attention back to the guy that was hovering just inside the door of a room several doors down.

“His last roommate ran away. You should see if you can get student housing to put you somewhere else. Get out while you can.” The man ducked into the room and slammed the door leaving the Winchester brothers standing in the hall, gaping at his closed door.

“What the hell?” Dean looked up at his brother, who shrugged. He shifted the box in his arms. It was starting to get heavy and he wanted to put it down already.

 

“Well, let’s go meet your new roommate so we can get your stuff moved in. I need to make the drive home before dark,” Sam said. With a heavy sigh Dean nodded.

“Yeah, ok.”

 

Dean had gotten a scholarship by working his ass off through four years of high school because he didn’t want his parents to have to pay a single penny. He’d already completed his BA, maintaining a 4.2 GPA so that he could earn another scholarship to attend here. And now he had a four year ride, complete with housing. He had a full class load and had lined up a part-time job with his uncle so that he would have extra money for food and clothing without having to ask his parents for one red cent. His father had struggled for years to support the family and raise him and his brothers, this was the beginning of how he planned to ease their financial burden. Once he had his medical degree he planned to pay off his parents’ mortgage and send them on a much needed trip. A sort of second honeymoon. He just had to survive eight more years of college and residency. 

The next four years were going to be long…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Room Two Twelve was right in front of them. Dean swallowed hard and knocked.

“If you’re the new roommate, just come in,” a gruff voice called back. So Dean opened the door. It felt like a scene out of a horror movie as it slowly swung open. It even creaked, adding to the effect. When he stepped into the doorway the first thing he noticed was half of the room was empty, waiting for his belongings to fill it up. The second thing he noticed were the piercing blue eyes staring at him.

“Oh, uh, hello. I’m your new roommate,” Dean said. Blue eyes continued to stare at him from a face so perfectly beautiful it left Dean momentarily speechless.

“I’m Dean.” 

Blue eyes continued to stare at him. Yeah, that was a bit intense.

“Dean, he looks shady. His last roommate ran _away_ ,” Sam hissed in his brother’s ear.

“Shut up, Sammy, he looks adorable,” Dean hissed right back. Sam shot his brother a dirty look before pushing past him into the room. He thrust his hand in front of the blue eyed man.

“Hi, I’m Sam Winchester. My brother is going to be your roommate. I’m just going to help him move stuff up here.”

It was mildly unnerving to have the intense focus in those blue eyes being directed solely at him, but Sam tried to keep his cool. The man blinked before slowly extending his own hand and shaking Sam’s hand.

“I am Castiel. It is nice to meet you, Sam. And you as well, Dean.” 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up hearing how deep the guy’s voice was. It was in stark contrast to the boyish good looks and bright blue eyes, but he liked it. Sam released Castiel’s hand and started for the door as Dean moved to the other side of the room and set down the box he was holding.

“So… we’re just going to go and grab Dean’s stuff. We’ll be quick, won’t bother you at all.” He bumped into the door frame as he left the room.

“Please close the door behind you,” Castiel said, turning those incredibly blue eyes on Dean once again as he started for the door.

“Sure.” Dean pulled the door closed and started down the hall with his brother.

“He’s creepy,” Sam said.

“I don’t think so. The way he stares, the lack of speaking up, I’m leaning more towards him having Asperger’s. I don’t think he was deliberately trying to be rude,” Dean argued.

“Well, I’m glad you’re rooming with him and not me.” Sam shook his head. He really was glad it was Dean and not him. “Fifty bucks says you don’t make it three months.”

“Oh, you’re on. Cas and me, we’re going to get along just fine. Wait and see,” Dean said smugly. He was a charmer, everyone loved him. He was sure Castiel would too.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel hated him, Dean was sure of it. Everything he did, the guy complained about it or got upset. They’d lived together six weeks, and he was ready to scream. All he wanted to do was focus on his classes and do his homework. He needed to maintain his GPA, but his roommate was making that next to impossible. From how he hung the hand towel in their tiny bathroom to the posters he hung over his bed (Castiel claimed that a print from the movie Donnie Darko bothered him), he nitpicked everything. This particular Thursday Dean was heading back to his dorm to study for a huge test he had the following Monday. He intended to get through his classes Friday and then spend the entire weekend studying. With luck Castiel would leave him alone. He didn’t count on luck being on his side as most often it was miles away, deliberately ignoring him.

He walked into his room to find his roommate was not yet back from his classes yet. Breathing a sigh of relief Dean grabbed his laptop and his headphones, and curled up in bed to start studying. An hour later Castiel walked in the room. Dean looked up, watching the man as he closed the door and walked across the room to his own bed. Castiel removed his shoes, placing them neatly next to his desk and sat down in the chair. He pulled out his own laptop and notebooks, getting everything set up to do his own homework and as the laptop booted up, he turned to look at Dean. 

Dean had returned his attention to his own laptop before Castiel had even reached his desk but he could feel the eyes on him. He pulled his headphones off and looked at his roommate.

“What?” he asked. 

“Will you be home this weekend?” Castiel inquired.

“I am planning on it, yes. I have a test to study for,” Dean replied.

“Do you plan to eat here in the room again?”

Dean had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. The last time he had used his microwave to heat up a burrito he’d bought at a gas station and Castiel had complained for hours afterwards about the smell, until Dean scrubbed the microwave clean and opened the window to air the room out. 

“I have that right you know. I can eat if I get hungry.” 

“I wasn’t going to say that you couldn’t.”

Castiel continued to stare at him for another full minute before turning his attention back to his laptop. Dean set his own computer aside and swung his legs over the edge of his bed as he sat up. He decided that he needed to get to know his roommate better if they were going to get along at all. They were going to be roommates for at least the rest of the year, and it wouldn’t do either of them any good if they couldn’t find a middle ground. The guy was ridiculously hot, even if he was socially awkward, and despite his apparent irritation with Dean over eating food in the room, he was actually nice. Just…standoffish.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” 

Castiel turned away from his computer screen to look at Dean again. “Of course you can.”

“I’ve noticed a few things since I moved in here. I know I’m organized, but you’re even more organized than I am, and you complained that my music was loud, even when I wore headphones, until I got my new pair. The smell of microwaveable popcorn and certain other foods make you sick, and dude, you really stare. _A lot_. Do you have Asperger’s?” Dean asked.

 

Castiel blinked in what was actual surprise. “You know what Asperger’s is?”

“Of course I do. My youngest brother Adam has it, though it’s barely perceptible to most people, and my brother Sam and I are on the spectrum but don’t really display the symptoms of autism. We do, however, have related issues that we have to deal with,” Dean replied. Castiel’s eyes widened and he actually turned in his chair to face him.

“Yes, I do. I sometimes have difficulty with initiating conversations, especially friendly ones. And I apologize for staring. I have been told before that I do that too much. When my brother is with me he reminds me not to. You can do that as well if it bothers you.”

“No, at this point I’m used to it. I mentally remind myself when I find myself staring so you don’t really bother me too much. It’s why I am in school to become a doctor. I want to work with children and adults with Asperger’s and autism. And I’m on medication for my issues,” Dean explained.

“I saw your medications, but I did not feel that it would be polite to ask what they were for,” Castiel said.

“I am on an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety to deal with my OCD, and I’m on meds for my ADD and ODD.” Dean glanced at the bottles that sat in a basket on the corner of his desk. “Are you on anything? Because I’ve noticed you’re particularly sensitive to certain smells and sounds.”

Castiel ducked his head in embarrassment. “I-yes, I do. I’m sorry. I know I’m not easy to live with. My last roommate packed up and left one afternoon while I was at class. Left me a nasty note about how annoying I am.”

Dean felt bad for the guy, and bad for thinking maybe the guy was just an asshole after all. He really wasn’t. “Well, I’m not going to run away on you. Asperger’s? I can handle that. If you were an asshole on purpose, then yeah, I’d leave. I’m here to get a quality education, just like you, just like everyone else. I have a lot at stake so I need to focus, but we’ll be ok as roommates.”

“I am gay,” Castiel blurted. 

Dean arched an eyebrow. It was random but he understood, it was because his roommate was afraid it might be a deal breaker and might still make him leave. 

“That’s ok by me. I’m bi, so if you thought I was going to be a jerk, I won’t be.”

Castiel gave the first real, genuine smile Dean had seen since they’d become roommates.

“Oh good. Not everyone accepts it. I-I am gay but I don’t date, so you don’t have to worry that I will bring anyone back here.”

Ok, now Dean was curious about the guy. “You don’t date? Like, at all?”

Castiel shrugged. “I try. My brother likes to set me up a lot, but they never go past a first date. Conversations is usually stilted, and I have trouble continuing it. And I don’t pick up on it when other people flirt, so I miss a great many opportunities to meet people who might be interested.”

“Well, what kind of things do you like to talk about on a date?” Dean asked. 

“I know I’m twenty three and I am told frequently that I should not still play videogames or read comic books, but those are some of my favorite things, and I don’t want to give up my childhood completely. Plenty of adults like those things, so why can’t I as well, you know? I don’t believe that I should have to, but the people he sets me up with, they think those things are silly and childish,” Castiel frowned.

“Well, then I must be very childish because I love comics and videogames.” Dean got up and knelt down to pull a small tote out from under his bed. By the time he had pulled the lid off the box Castiel was kneeling on the floor next to him. He gasped when he saw the neat stack of comics sitting inside of it.

“Oh! Can I?” He was almost shaking with excitement as he eyed the books.

“Sure. I don’t think I need to tell you to be careful.” Dean sat down and crossed his legs as he watched Castiel gingerly lift out the comics one at a time.

“These….I have this series back at home, but not all of these.” 

“I only brought my favorites with, the ones I didn’t want to leave at home. I have boxes and boxes of them still back at home,” Dean said.

“I have a room in my parents’ basement that is temperature and light controlled so that my comics and other collectibles don’t get damaged.” Castiel flipped through one of the comic books, humming with pleasure at the story as he read it.

“That’s wicked cool. Wish I could see it,” Dean murmured as he pulled another comic from the box. He’d read through them all dozens of times but it never grew old.

“What other things do you like, Cas?” he asked. Castiel looked up at him.

“You called me Cas.”

Dean nodded. “I did. Is that ok?”

Castiel smiled softly. “I think I like it. But only if you call me that.” 

Dean grinned and bumped the other man’s shoulder gently. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”


	3. Chapter 3

**OCTOBER**

“So….how are things going with Castiel? Is he driving you nuts yet?” 

Dean shifted the phone from his right ear to his left and sighed.

“No, Sammy. He has Asperger’s, just like I told you he did. I figured him out real quick. In fact, once he warmed up to me, I figured out he’s not even as severe as Adam is, and we know Adam isn’t severe. Hell, the kid has a girlfriend and does the same thing other teenagers his age do. Cas is funny and smart, and he’s been helping me study for my anatomy class. He has a technique that comes in handy to help me memorize, and I actually got a hundred percent on my last three tests. I have figured out most of his quirks and I’ve adapted to them. And he’s figured out mine too and learned to tolerate them as well. We get along really well.”

“So what, you guys are friends now?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, we are. He got invited to a party tonight by his brother but he’s not comfortable going alone. Large crowds make him uncomfortable. So I’m going with him,” Dean said. “I’m actually picking out something to wear right now.”

“Is it…a _date_?” 

Dean snorted. He _wished_ it was a date. “No, Sammy. He’s my friend, and friends do things for one another. They help their friends when they need it. And that’s what I’m doing. You don’t know him like I do. You met him once. I live with him.”

“Yeah, I guess. If he really is cool though I would like to meet him some time.” 

“Well, I was thinking of inviting him home with me for Christmas break. His parents are going on a cruise to the Bahamas and his brother is going back east with his girlfriend, so Cas is going to spend the holidays alone in our dorm if I don’t make him come home with me. I don’t like the idea of him spending two weeks in this room with nothing but ramen noodles and pizza. Besides, he needs to taste one of Mom’s pies.” Dean laughed and his brother joined in.

“Yeah, Mom’s pie is something no one should ever go without having tasted at least once,” Sam agreed.

“So what has you calling anyway?” Dean asked. He found a dark gray Henley in his wardrobe and pulled it out. It would look good with his tight jeans.

“I wanted to tell you that McConnell’s has the latest issue of that comic you collect. He told me to pass the word along to you. I went home for dinner last weekend and stopped in. He said he doesn’t have your new number,” Sam replied.

“That doesn’t tell me very much, Sam. I collect about fifteen different comic series. Care to elaborate? And I’ll call him and give him my new number later.”

“Uh, the guy with the giant E on his chest? Gray suit?” Sam was floundering. He wasn’t a comic enthusiast like his brother.

“Ok, I know which one. Thanks. I’ll call down there and get them to hold me a copy til I come home and can pick it up.” Dean took off his sweatpants and put the jeans on.

“So, I’ll see you in three weeks then?” Sam asked.

“Yep. I’ll talk to Mom after I talk to Cas. I know Mom won’t mind if I bring someone home, and Dad will understand.” 

“Ok. Make sure you ask him soon because you’ll need to break the news to Adam. He’s the one that doesn’t like change,” Sam said.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll talk to him as soon as I talk to Cas.” Dean sighed and sat down on his bed.

“Talk to me about what?” 

Dean looked up to see his roommate walking in the door.

“I gotta go, Sammy. Talk to you later.” He hung up before his brother could respond.

Castiel closed the door behind him and moved farther into the room.

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” Dean said. Castiel was in the process of taking off his coat but he paused to look at Dean.

“Did you change your mind about attending the party with me this evening?”

“No, of course not. I was just getting dressed for it.” Dean motioned towards the jeans he was already wearing and the shirt he had laid out on the bed. “I was thinking about you sitting here alone for the holidays. I’m not going to let you. You’re coming home with me for Christmas.” 

“What?” Castiel finally managed to get his coat off and moved over to the closet to hang it up.

Dean knew how his friend was. If he asked, Castiel would decline the offer thinking he was taking advantage, but when Dean was firm and told the man what he expected of him, his friend was more likely to go along with it. Nearly three months of living together and he thought he knew Castiel pretty well.

“You heard me. I know you’ll just be sitting here eating ramen and spending what little money you have saved up on pizza and shitty take out, and I’m not comfortable with that. You’re coming home with me where you will get to eat real, home cooked food and my mom’s pie is to die for. You will not be a burden nor will you be interrupting anything. You’ll stay in my room with me, and if you want to hide in there, that’ll be fine. My family are about the nicest people you’ll ever meet and they will love you.” Dean stripped his tee shirt off and pulled the Henley over his head. When he turned around he was surprised to see Castiel staring. 

“You want me to come home with you for the holidays? You’re sure about that?”

“Of course, you’re my friend.” Dean walked over and put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “I won’t enjoy my Christmas if you’re here. It’ll bother me the entire time knowing that I’m drinking eggnog and eating pie, and you’re here alone. So yeah, I do want you to come home with me.”

“And your parents are alright with it?” Castiel blinked, trying not to cry with the emotions that were suddenly overwhelming him.

“My parents are fine with me bringing people home. It’s my youngest brother that I will have to talk to, but even he’ll be ok with it,” Dean said.

“He is the one with Asperger’s?” 

Dean nodded. “Yes. He’s high functioning but he has some issues.”

“Like me?” Castiel asked.

“No, you have a few quirks, nothing that getting to know you someone couldn’t figure out and learn to accept. Adam…has actual issues. He’s not a bad kid though.” Dean squeezed Castiel’s shoulder and smiled. “I want you there, ok?”

Castiel wiped at his eyes and nodded. “Ok. If it’s alright with your parents, then it’s ok with me. I’ll come home with you.” 

“Good. So, get dressed and I’ll call my mom right now.” Dean went back to his bed and grabbed his phone. As he dialed his house he watched as Castiel searched through his closet. He was busy debating between two button downs, one of which was checkered and Dean couldn’t handle it anymore. There was no way he was letting the man walk out the door dressed like that. He had already run it by his mom that he would be bringing his roommate home with him, so he told her he had to go as he crossed the room and plucked both shirts from his friend’s hands. After stuffing his phone in his back pocket he shoved the shirts back in the closet.

“No, you are not dressing like that to go to a party.” 

“I need to be comfortable, Dean, or I’ll be miserable and cranky, you know that,” Castiel complained.

“I know, buddy, but I also know you aren’t really comfortable in these dress shirts you wear. Your mom made you wear them and you like consistency and familiarity. But sometimes it’s ok to start new routines. Come here.” Dean motioned for Castiel to follow him over to his own dresser where he sifted through until he found a black Henley. He pulled it out and handed it over.

“I have a few sensory issues myself. I only wear dress shirts when I absolutely have to, otherwise I wear these or tee shirts. These are exceptionally comfortable. Try it on.”

Castiel took the shirt and looked at it for a moment before looking at Dean again. Green eyes were watching and waiting.

“Oh, you mean right now.”

“Well, yeah. Party’s tonight.” Dean grinned at him before sitting down on his bed to put on his socks and shoes. Castiel watched him for a moment before he began to slowly unbutton his shirt. Dean found himself staring without even realizing he was doing it. When Castiel shrugged it off, revealing a plain white tee underneath he finally tore his eyes away and finished tying his shoes.

“Take that off. Just wear the shirt I gave you. You’ll get hot dressed in both,” he said.

“Ok.” Castiel pulled off the tee shirt and put on the Henley. “Does it look ok?” He looked down at himself, smoothing his hands down the front of the shirt.

“Fits you well. You look really good,” Dean said. It was the truth. The man appeared smaller than he really was when he wore those dress shirts of his. In truth he was broad shouldered and muscular without being bulky. Dude was smoking hot on a good day but dressed in one of Dean’s shirts? He was damn close to irresistible. Castiel smiled.

“Yeah?”

Dean smiled back. “Yeah. Now, where are your jeans? They don’t look right with your dress pants.”

“I have a couple of pairs. Can you help me choose some that will look good with it?” Castiel asked.

“Sure.” Dean stood up. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”


	4. Chapter 4

They decided on a pair of black jeans that hugged Castiel in all the right places. Dean blushed as he complimented his friend on how good he looked. After they had both shaved and styled their hair (Dean’s was spiked but he ran his fingers through Castiel’s hair, leaving it a purposeful mess, much to the other man’s chagrin), they left for the party. They walked slowly, taking their time and talking as they made their way to the frat house where the party was being held. When they reached the house, Castiel stopped on the sidewalk outside. When Dean realized he wasn’t following he paused and backtracked until he was standing next to him.

“You ok?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I’m just….” Castiel fidgeted as he looked up at the frat house.

“You don’t like large crowds,” Dean concluded. Castiel’s blue eyes met his green ones and Dean could see the relief in them. He understood. He was pretty sure not even Castiel’s brother got it. Probably just thought his brother was extremely shy. If he had to wager a bet, he’d say Castiel’s brother didn’t really know squat about Asperger’s. Dean knew better. He stepped closer, getting right in Castiel’s personal space.

“Ok, yes, there are going to be a lot of people in there. The music will be loud, people will be drinking and probably smoking, but I will stay with you. I’m not going to leave your side, ok?”

Castiel’s hands clenched at his side, relaxed, then clenched again. Slowly he nodded.

“I don’t mind the parties themselves. It’s the strangers that try to talk to me, they make me anxious. I don’t know what to say, and I have a hard time telling the difference between when they’re joking and when they’re making fun of me.” He looked down at the snow covered ground under his feet. “I don’t like being made fun of.”

“But I do know the difference, and I’m not going to let people be dicks to you, ok? No one likes to be made fun of, and I won’t let anyone do that to you. Do you trust me?” Dean asked softly.

“Yes, you’re-you’re my best friend, Dean,” Castiel replied just as softly. That stirred something in Dean hearing the other man say that. He smiled.

“Good. So, let’s go in, we’ll enjoy a drink, we’ll listen to some shitty music, watch people dancing like idiots, and then we’ll go home. Sound good?” Dean reached out to take his friend’s hand, squeezing it gently.

“You won’t leave me? My brother always leaves me,” Castiel told him.

“I’ll be right by your side. If I have to use the bathroom or something, I will let you know first.”

Castiel nodded. “Ok, so let’s go inside.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party was exactly what Dean had anticipated. It was loud, crowded, and the music was pumping through speakers in every room at a volume so high they could feel the vibrations deep in their bones. Dean took Castiel by the hand and led him through to the kitchen where they got beer, and then to the main living area. Dean found a spot on the couch farthest from the blasting music and pulled Castiel down with him to sit.

“Is your brother here?” Dean had to lean close in order to be heard.

“I think so? I’ve been looking for him, but I haven’t seen him yet.” Castiel was sitting close to Dean, but he was tense. “Do you know anyone around here?”

“No, no one,” Dean admitted. He turned to his friend and smiled. “Except you, and I’m alright with that.”

Castiel smiled and bumped his shoulder against Dean’s. “Thank you for coming with me. I usually just find my brother, he plops me down in a corner and I sit there, not moving for a couple of hours until I can escape.” 

“No offense but your brother sounds like an asshole,” Dean said, bumping him back. Castiel grinned.

“Yeah, maybe a bit.”

“Cassie! You made it!” A voice cried from the other side of the couch they were sitting on. They both turned around.

“Hello, Gabriel,” Castiel said tightly. 

“Is this your brother?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Castiel replied.

Dean stuck a hand out in Gabriel’s direction. “Hi, I’m Dean.” The other man smirked and reached out to shake it.

“Well, well. Nice to meet you, Dean. I didn’t realize my brother _finally_ had a boyfriend.”

Castiel’s eyes got so big Dean thought they might pop out of his head. It made him laugh.

“I-no…he’s-no…” Castiel stuttered but Dean put a hand on his knee, patting it reassuringly.

“I’m his roommate, and friend,” Dean said.

“Oh. Yeah, I knew it was wishful thinking that Cassie would have a boyfriend. Still, it’s nice to meet you.” Gabriel smiled politely and patted his brother on the shoulder. When Dean looked at Castiel he saw the anger in those blue eyes.

“Say, Cas, why don’t we go get another beer?” he asked.

Castiel turned to look at him. “Yeah, ok.” 

“We’ll catch you later?” Dean was forcing himself to stay polite with Gabriel for Castiel’s sake while also trying to keep his friend calm. He got to his feet and held a hand out. Castiel looked at it for a moment before slowly reaching out and taking it. He let Dean pull him to his feet.

Dean held onto Castiel’s hand as he pulled him through the crowd and back to the kitchen. He poured them both a beer and leaned back against the counter to sip at his.

“Are you ok?” he asked. Castiel sipped at his own beer, giving a small nod.

“He’s like that.” 

“I figured. Makes me even happier that you’re coming home with me for Christmas. I promise no one will treat you with such dismissal. Especially me.” Dean didn’t like the way Gabriel had spoken to Castiel. He wanted his friend to be treated like the wonderful person he was and not someone to be pitied. He knew how much Castiel hated being treated like he wasn’t normal. He found that he was curious about his friend’s life before he’d met him.

“What, uh, did he mean before anyway?” 

Castiel tilted his head in a way that told Dean he was confused by the question. “I am not sure I understand your question.”

“When he said it was wishful thinking to expect that you’d have a boyfriend,” Dean clarified. Castiel ducked his head, blushing. Dean pushed off the counter and grabbed his friend’s hand again. “Come on, let’s go see if we can get our seats back.”

Once they were back sitting on the couch Dean turned so he could face Castiel again. 

“Cas, have you ever had a boyfriend?” 

Castiel’s expression was one of pain as he stared into his cup. “I have been on some dates, and once I went out with someone for a couple of months, but most people can’t…tolerate…me for very long.”

“Cas, tolerance isn’t the issue. You’re great once you warm up. You’re so smart and funny and thoughtful. So what if you organize your shirts in the closet by color? So do I. Or if you can’t leave without making your bed. No one is perfect. You just have to find the right kind of guy for you.” 

Castiel looked up at him, his blue eyes thoughtful. “And what about you? Do you date a lot?”

Dean shrugged. “I used to. My own quirks, they’re not for everyone. But I guess I haven’t found someone worth really being with yet. Someone I’m so comfortable with that I can tell them anything.” He gave a little laugh. “Like how I can’t stand regular boxers. I can only wear boxer briefs because boxers make me feel strangely vulnerable, and I don’t like it when that’s all I’m wearing and air goes up the legs. And I can’t wear regular briefs because I feel naked under my clothes without the fabric pressing against my thighs. So since I was about twelve I’ve only worn the boxer briefs. Or how I can’t wear wool. It’s the most disgusting thing to feel against my skin, makes my skin actually crawl. I like cotton, whether it’s jeans, tee shirts, or flannel. Or the fact that I cannot tolerate the smell of vanilla. It makes me physically ill, not to mention that it gives me migraines. If I cook with it, I have to use it quickly and be done. You’ll never find me lighting vanilla scented candles or incense. But I can eat vanilla pudding and cake. It’s weird. I’m weird, but I like myself the way I am, and you should like yourself the way you are. You’re awesome, Cas. Never, ever sell yourself short.”

“Why are you telling me these things, Dean? If you’re waiting for someone special to tell them to, why would you tell them to me? I don’t understand.” Castiel was tilting his head and Dean was finding it impossible not to think of him as absolutely adorable in that moment. It was hard trying to deny that he had fallen for his friend.

“Because you’re one of my best friends too, Cas. And friends should be able to talk and trust one another with anything.”

“Have you had sex, Dean?” Castiel asked suddenly. Dean should have been surprised by the question but he wasn’t. He was used to random questions being suddenly blurted. 

“Yes I have, why do you ask?”

“I had sex too. My brother…he paid a guy to pretend to like me and take me out to dinner. I thought he genuinely liked me, so when he asked, I agreed to have sex with him. I didn’t know until later.” Castiel was on the verge of tears and staring into his cup again. As Dean watched, a tear slid down his friend’s cheek and dropped into his beer. “It was the first time I ever truly felt normal. I enjoyed myself, let myself relax and feel, and it was…amazing. And Gabriel…he just…”

“Took that away from you.” Dean was angry that Castiel’s brother would be that heartless. Castiel’s brother probably thought he was trying to help, but that was definitely _not_ the way to do it. That was a twisted, fucked up way to mess with someone’s emotions. Castiel nodded but kept his eyes locked on the contents of his cup.

“Cas, you’re better than that. You deserve better than that.” Dean took his hand again.

“I don’t get what I want though, Dean. All I really have is my education. So I study, I work on my degree so that I can get the education my parents expect of me, and so I can become a doctor, like my grandfather, like my father, like my brother. But what I really want has never really been taken into consideration.”

Dean ducked his head until he could see Castiel’s eyes. They were red rimmed and shimmering with more unshed tears. “What do you want, Cas? Do you even want to be a doctor?”

“Yes, I do, but on _my_ terms, not theirs. They want me to be a surgeon. My grandfather was a heart surgeon. My father is a brain surgeon. Gabriel is in his last year of medical school. Next year he begins his residency. He’ll be a heart surgeon too. I want to work in pediatric oncology. I like children, I relate better to them than I do to other adults, and they make me happy. That’s one of the things I want. I’d also like a real boyfriend, but I doubt that will ever happen.” Castiel sighed deeply and looked down at where their hands were clasped together, fingers entwined. “I want this, to be able to touch someone and not be uncomfortable doing it. I’m not uncomfortable with you, though. I-I’ve never held hands with anyone before. Do friends even do this? I’ve only ever seen friends be intimate on that television show, Queer as Folk. My brother tells me that is not how real friends act. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Dean looked down at where they were still holding hands. Castiel was right. People that were just friends didn’t do this. Yet he didn’t want to pull his hand away. 

“Yeah, your brother is kind of right on that.”

“I don’t understand,” Castiel said.

Dean lifted his friend’s hand and kissed the back of it gently. He hoped his friend understood the gesture.

“Do you…like me, Dean? Like as in more than just a friend?” When Castiel looked up again there was so much hope in his eyes, and so much fear. The last thing Dean wanted was to scare him. 

“Y-”

“Are you _sure_ you two aren’t dating?” Gabriel literally dropped onto the couch right between them, throwing his legs up over his brother’s lap. They were forced to pull their hands back before he sat right on them.

“Well I wouldn’t know when you act like an asshole and just interrupt our conversation like this!” Castiel snapped. Gabriel dropped his feet to the floor and sat up, looking at his brother in shock.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Gabriel. God, you can be _such_ a dick! Go _away_!” Castiel was furious and glaring at his brother. Dean snickered as he watched the older man scramble to get off the couch.

“Sorry! Geez, what are you doing to my brother, Dean? He’s acting so…” Gabriel waved the hand he wasn’t holding a cup in around as he searched for the right words.

“Normal? Because that’s what he is. He’s normal and I like him exactly the way he is.” Dean looked at Castiel as he spoke. It was the truth. The smile he received was blinding, and it made his chest ache seeing it. He loved that smile and wanted to do everything he could to see it as often as he possibly could. Gabriel dropped his hand and for a moment he actually looked ashamed.

“He is normal.” He turned to look at his brother. “You _are_ normal, Cassie. I’m sorry if I make you feel like you’re not.”

“Dean makes me feel normal. He gets my sense of humor and how I think, and I’ve only known him a few short months. You haven’t been able to figure me out in twenty three years. I know you try, Gabriel. Sometimes though, you just make me feel like I’m anything but,” Castiel told him.

“Wow. I’ll, uh, try to chill, let you just be ‘you’, ok?” 

Castiel smiled at his brother. “I would very much appreciate that. Now can you go away so I can finish my conversation with Dean? I believe he was telling me he liked me.” 

Gabriel snorted and looked at Dean. “I think my brother likes you, so treat him right, ok?”

Dean smiled and nodded. “I wouldn’t treat him any other way.”

Once Gabriel had wandered back into the crowd, Castiel reached out to take Dean’s hand again. That was another first. It had always been Dean who had initiated touching first until that moment.

“Am I incorrect in interpreting your words earlier? Do you like me as more than just a friend?” Castiel asked.

“Yes, Cas, I do. But I need to know how you feel, and what you want. We don’t have to do anything other than what we already do, which is just hang out and talk and study, but if you want more, I would like to have the chance to show you how a real boyfriend should treat you.” Dean suddenly felt shy as he poured his heart out. 

“I like you too, Dean. I have since the day you became my roommate, but I-I didn’t know how to show it, or how to even say it. And I didn’t know if you liked me back,” Castiel said. 

“The first thing I noticed when I met you, besides the fact that you have one hell of an intense stare, is that you’re gorgeous, Cas. Once I got to know you though I realized that you are beautiful inside and out. You’re absolutely the most amazing person I have ever met,” Dean confessed. 

“Oh, I…n-no one has ever told me that before. I find you to be amazing as well, Dean. And I cannot find a word adequate enough to describe how beautiful I think you are since you already took the word gorgeous.” The corners of Castiel’s mouth turned up in a playful grin.

“Castiel Novak, are you… _flirting_ with me?” Dean teased. Castiel blushed but he was smiling.

“I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying.”

“Yeah, well, I like it. You can flirt with me as often as you like.” Dean moved a little closer, smiling to himself when Castiel did the same. He let go of the other man’s hand so that he could put an arm around his shoulder. Castiel moved closer, leaning into Dean’s touch.

“So, Cas. You aren’t crazy about being touched, is that right?” Dean asked.

“No, that’s not it. I don’t mind being touched at all, but I prefer it to be by people I know. Strangers touching me makes me uncomfortable. I like this, and I want you to touch me, Dean. This I am comfortable with, and I would like to kiss you but I am afraid that I would be too forward if I did.”

Dean snickered at Castiel’s bluntness. It was actually refreshing.

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” He set his empty cup on the floor before sitting back and looking at Castiel again. Bringing his now empty hand up, he cupped Castiel’s cheek before leaning in and gently kissing him. He didn’t want to push and end up making the other man uncomfortable, so he waited, keeping the kiss gentle and letting Castiel decide what exactly it was that he wanted.

At first their kiss was tentative and slow, but it didn’t take long before Castiel was grabbing on to the front of Dean’s shirt and pulling him closer, opening his mouth to let Dean’s tongue enter, and when he moaned, it sent shivers down Dean’s spine. Kissing Castiel was even more awesome than he had hoped it would be. He sure as hell hadn’t expected it to be this _hot_.

“I like kissing you, Dean. It feels real, like you really do care and want to kiss me too. It makes it better,” Castiel said when they finally pulled away to catch their breath. Dean smiled and pressed a tender kiss to his jaw.

“That’s because I do care, a lot. I like kissing you too.”

“Do you want to have sex? With me, I mean,” Castiel asked. Dean’s eyebrows shot up. Now that question he had not expected.

“Uh, right now?”

“No, I…don’t think I’m ready for it just yet, but soon? And what is appropriate as far as touching in public goes? Am I going too far if I want to maybe put my hand on your knee?” Castiel’s hands were in his own lap but his fingers twitched with the need to reach out and touch Dean.

“In a party-like atmosphere, yes, you can touch me like that. In front of my parents I believe we should stick to holding hands,” Dean explained. 

“Ok, I will be polite, I promise.” Castiel reached over, hesitating only a moment before placing a hand on Dean’s knee. He smiled brightly. “I get a lot of the social cues, but the whole dating thing, it’s new to me. But I will do my very best to understand, and please, don’t be afraid to tell me if I’m screwing something up. I want to make you happy, Dean.” 

“Cas, you already do make me happy. You make me happier than anyone ever has. So just keep being you. I like you just the way you are. I’m just happy that now I get to kiss you.” Dean smiled as he leaned in to kiss him.

“That makes me happy too, Dean. Very, very happy.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter was actually where I was planning to leave the story off, but I happen to know Ravenwolf36 well enough that I know she would want to see the story through to the very end, and get some smut. And so there will be more chapters. This is for you, Mel. Enjoy!!!!

Neither man wanted a third beer so they put their coats back on and made their way to the front door. Once they were outside, the silence of the night came as a welcome relief.

“Thank you for keeping your promise and not leaving me,” Castiel said as he took Dean’s hand.

“I told you I would stay by your side. I keep my promises.”

They walked slowly back towards their dorm in comfortable silence. When they reached it, Dean opened the door for Castiel and they went up to the second floor. As they hung their coats up and took off their shoes Dean found himself wondering about a few things. Was Castiel now his boyfriend? He supposed that was the case. He really liked that idea. They’d had a rough beginning, but now they fit together like two peas in a pod, and for once someone wasn’t telling him that he studied too much because they were studying just as hard. Castiel took his pajamas and disappeared into the bathroom. Dean quickly stripped down, putting his own on before Castiel returned. When he walked back in the room Dean decided he wanted to try something. When Castiel was turned away from him, facing his bed as he tossed the clothes he’d been wearing in his hamper, Dean slid up behind him, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist. He wasn’t sure if Castiel would pull away or not, but feeling him relax and lean back against him came as a relief. 

“Dean?” Castiel turned a bit in his arms so he could see Dean’s face.

“I just wanted to hold you for a moment.” Dean nuzzled against Castiel’s cheek before kissing it softly. He was gifted with another dazzling smile.

“I like this. I’ve never had someone want to just hold me.” 

“It’s one of my favorite things to do.” Dean gave him one last squeeze before letting go. 

“You didn’t have to stop.” Castiel turned, taking a step towards him. Dean smiled and wrapped his arms around him again.

“Are you going to sleep right now?” Castiel asked as he wrapped his arms around Dean in return.

“Mmm, no, I don’t need to just yet. It’s Saturday and I’m not working until two tomorrow, so I thought I might watch a movie,” Dean replied. “Want to watch it with me?”

“Can it be Star Wars?” Castiel asked. Dean grinned.

“Heck yeah!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**DECEMBER**

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of classes, tests, and work, and then it was time to head home to the Winchester house. Dean rented a car since he’d left his Impala back at home (lack of safe parking at the university) and they loaded their bags into it. Castiel was nervous, asking Dean a million questions on the ride about the family, what their holiday traditions were, whether his brothers liked comics and science fiction movies too, what his dad did for a living, what his mom did, and the inquisition kept going the entire four-hour drive. Dean didn’t mind. He understood Castiel’s concern and his need to know everything he possibly could before he met them. He had already called ahead to his mom to let her know that Castiel was coming as his boyfriend instead of his roommate now, and that he had Asperger’s. He was confident she would handle it with the same grace and gentleness that she used when dealing with Adam. By the time they pulled up in the driveway, Castiel was almost shaking. Dean reached over and took his hand. 

“It’s ok. They’re really nice people. I am very lucky to have the family that I do,” he said softly.

“D-do they know? T-that we’re not just friends?” Castiel was looking at him with wide, fear filled eyes.

“Honey, they know. I called my mom two weeks ago and told her, and she told my dad. My parents know that I’m bi, and they don’t care. And my mom is all set to love on you like she does me and my brothers. She asked me what your favorite foods are so that she could make them, and what your favorite kind of pie is. I’m going to guarantee that there is a cherry pie waiting in there just for you.” He leaned over and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek softly.

“Ok. We can go in now,” Castiel said.

“Yeah? You’re sure?” Dean asked. 

“Yes. I am honored that you want me to meet your family, and I am ready to meet them. Come on.” 

Castiel got out of the car and went around to the trunk to start pulling their bags out. Dean got out to help him. The front door opened and they looked up to see Dean’s mom, Mary, stepping onto the porch. 

“Hey, Mom,” Dean said happily.

“Hi honey. Do you boys need help?” she asked.

“Nah, we got it. We’re going to bring our bags up to my room first, ok?” He looked up at her and she nodded.

“Come on, babe.” Dean took two of the bags and placed a hand on Castiel’s back as he led him up the steps. They stopped in front of Mary.

“Mom, this is Castiel. Cas, this is my mother, Mary,” he introduced.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mary. Thank you for having me here.” Castiel smiled politely and offered his free hand. Mary pushed it aside and pulled him into a hug. He looked at Dean in surprise before hugging her back.

“Told you,” Dean said, grinning as his mother let his boyfriend go. Castiel snickered and grinned back. 

“You did.”

“Ok, Ma, we’re going to put our bags upstairs. We’ll be down in about twenty minutes or so,” Dean said as he led Castiel into the house.

“Are we being rude? Shouldn’t we say hello first?” Castiel asked as Dean led him up to the second floor.

“My mom knows that I need to put my stuff away first. I can’t socialize until my things are in their proper place. It’s not for you, baby. It’s for me.” Dean opened a door at the end of the hall and stepped aside so Castiel could enter first. 

“This…oh my goodness…” He looked around at the posters on the walls and the bookshelves that were filled with comics and action figures.

“You like?” Dean set the bags in the closet before taking the ones Castiel was holding from him and putting them in there too.

“It’s fantastic!” Castiel thought for a moment about going to look at them but decided instead to take off his coat and hang it up.

“Get comfortable, change if you want to. I am putting on my sweatpants. I don’t want to spend the day in jeans.” Dean had already hung his own up and was pulling sweatpants from one of his bags. 

“I’m comfortable,” Castiel said as moved back to sit on the edge of the bed. He watched as Dean took off his shoes and pants, switching into the sweatpants before taking his flannel off too. Wearing just the tee shirt and sweatpants, he joined Castiel on the bed. He wrapped his arms around the man’s waist and pulled him close. Castiel melted against him, smiling as Dean kissed his cheek softly.

“You ready for the grand tour?” Dean asked.

“Mmm, yes,” Castiel hummed. “And then we meet the rest of the family?”

“Dad’s not home from work yet and Sam’s coming in tomorrow. Adam’s still at school, it’s his last day. So, it’s just us for about another hour.”

“Oh, ok. Can we maybe have some pie?” Castiel asked. Dean laughed and kissed him again.

“Yeah, let’s go and have some pie.”


	6. Chapter 6

They found Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner when they went back downstairs, and she was happy to serve them both some pie. Castiel raved over the pie and they were enjoying a second piece, this one they were sharing, when Adam came home.

“Sit still for a minute, I have to talk to my brother, remind him that you’re here.” Dean set his fork down and stood up. Castiel watched him walk out of the kitchen before turning back to the pie still on the plate in front of him.

“Dean tells me you have Asperger’s too. Does your family understand it well?” Mary asked him.

“Yes and no. They mostly walk on eggshells around me. My brother still thinks I’m just shy and awkward,” he replied.

“How old were you when you were diagnosed?” She sat down in the seat Dean had left.

“I was eighteen. My parents were in denial and wouldn’t let me be tested. They ignored my panic attacks for all of my life, and they told me to focus on my schoolwork. Teachers either thought I was acting up or they thought I was overly shy. They suggested to my parents that I had ADHD, which my parents refused to admit to the possibility. So before I left for college, I went to the doctor on my own dime and got diagnosed. I had done a lot of research since I was a kid. I knew I was different but I didn’t know why. It was a mystery I wanted to solve, so I went to the doctor and asked them what was wrong with me. They did for me what my parents refused to do, and I finally got diagnosed. I got the help and medication that I needed to get my anxiety and depression under control, and I…got on with my life. I did therapy for a couple of years, but after I graduated and transferred out here, I haven’t been able to do much more than call my therapist. I’m not under my parents’ insurance anymore, so all of my meds I pay for myself. I have to set aside money from my grants and I submit some stories that have gotten published, and they earned me a couple hundred dollars each time. I just got another story published last month, actually, and I submitted a new one right before we drove out here. So I have a couple hundred saved up for my next batch of meds. I’m covered for another couple of months.”

“That’s good, and I’m very impressed that you are taking such good care of yourself.” Mary patted his hand and Castiel smiled. Dean had been right, his mom was an extremely nice person.

Dean came back, sneaking up behind Castiel and wrapping his arms around him.

“Hey, I want you to meet my baby brother, Adam.” 

He stepped back and let Castiel get up from his chair. A boy with blonde hair almost the same color as Mary’s was standing next to Dean. Castiel looked to Dean for the right prompt.

“Adam, I want you to meet Castiel, my boyfriend. Castiel, meet my baby brother, Adam.” 

The blonde boy nodded. “Nice to meet you, Castiel.”

“It’s very nice to meet you too.” Castiel looked to Dean again, not sure what the proper etiquette would be.

“Hey Cas, Adam here likes videogames too,” Dean said. Both his brother and his boyfriend perked up hearing that.

“Yeah? What kind of games?” Adam asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel followed Adam into the living room where they proceeded to look through all of Adam’s games while Dean stayed in the kitchen to help his mother clean up and finish making dinner. Around six they heard the front door open again.

“Dad’s home,” Dean said, more out of habit than anything.

“I’m guessing from the car in the drive, Dean’s home.” John called out from the front foyer. Dean walked out to meet his father.

“Hey ya, Dad.” He hugged his father. 

“Hey, kiddo. Is your boyfriend here with you?” John asked.

“Yeah, he’s in the living room playing games with Adam,” Dean replied.

“So, they’re getting along are they?” 

“They found common ground,” Dean said with a laugh. John chuckled.

“Ah, videogames.”

“Yep, videogames.” Dean grinned as he led his dad into the living room. “Hey, Cas?”

Castiel paused the racing game he was playing with Adam and turned to look at Dean. Seeing the man with him he jumped to his feet.

“Calm down, babe. I just want you to meet my dad. Dad, this is Castiel. Cas, this is my dad, John.” 

John smiled as he shook Castiel’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Castiel. Glad you could come spend time with us this Christmas.” 

“Thank you for having me,” Castiel told him.

“Can we finish the game now?” Adam asked.

“Go on. I’m going to steal Dean for a while, so you boys go on now and play your game,” John said. Adam immediately went back to the game while Castiel nodded politely before rejoining. Dean smiled as he headed out to the garage with his dad. So far Castiel was fitting right in with his family.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam arrived the next day, just in time for dinner. Dean and Castiel were up in Dean’s room watching TV when they heard Mary calling to them. 

“Sammy must be home,” Dean said as he got up from the bed. “Come on and you can officially meet him. Last time wasn’t really a proper introduction.”

Castiel got up and followed Dean downstairs where Mary was fussing over her middle child, hugging him and kissing him like she hadn’t seen him in a year, even though he only went to school two hours away. When Sam spotted his brother he grinned and pulled him into a hug.

“Hey, Sasquatch, how are ya?” Dean reached up to ruffle his brother’s hair. Sam laughed and pushed his hand away.

“I’m fine. How are you?” 

“I’m good. Up to my ears in homework, but that’s to be expected,” Dean replied. Sam looked up to see Castiel watching him. It was with slightly less intensity than their first meeting. “Hey,” he greeted him. Castiel smiled this time and nodded.

“Hello, Sam. It is nice to see you again.” 

“I’m gonna help Sammy bring his stuff up to his room. I’ll be right back,” Dean said. Castiel nodded.

“I’ll wait in your room.”

“He’s staying in your room with you? Mom didn’t put him up on the fold out couch?” Sam asked as they grabbed the bags and started up the stairs.

“Yeah, about that. Uh, I’m dating Cas now. He’s not just my roommate anymore,” Dean said as they deposited Sam’s bags in his room.

“Holy shit, you’re dating him?” Sam was genuinely surprised. “Are you guys like…having sex?”

Dean rolled his eyes. Leave it up to an eighteen-year-old to jump straight to sex. “No, not yet, and it’s not because he doesn’t want it, or because I don’t. He’s just not ready to take that step yet with me, and I’m cool with that.”

“I thought he would be like Adam, not wanting to be touched and stuff,” Sam shrugged.

“No, once he warms up to you, Cas is as normal as anyone else. He misses a few jokes here and there but he’s really funny and really nice. And he’s a nerd, like you. I think he might actually have read more books than you have,” Dean said.

“I highly doubt that,” Sam disagreed.

“Give him a chance. I think you’ll really like him. And if he stares, don’t take it personally. Sometimes he forgets to avert his gaze.”

“He’s in school to be a doctor too, right?” Sam asked.

“That would be why we’re in medical school,” Dean teased.

“Right, right. What kind of doctor is he going to be?”

“Pediatric oncologist,” Dean replied.

“No shit. That’s pretty cool.” Sam was impressed.

“I found out why he stared so hard at you when we first met him.” Dean said. Sam looked up from the bag he was digging in.

“Oh yeah? Cause that was kind of freaky, especially after what that guy down the hall said.”

“Yeah, that was Aaron and I learned pretty quickly that he has a penchant for over exaggerating. It’s cause your height intimidated him. It’s funny because you’re not all that much taller than me, but he’d never known anyone as tall as you and you were a stranger. He didn’t know how to really react. After you left I talked to him a bit, but it took a few weeks before we really warmed up to one another. I think I really got under his skin and he was aggravating me too because of that, but we talked it out and then we realized we had stuff in common. More than just us both studying to be doctors. He’s into comics and videogames, but we like the same movies, the same shows, the same books, and places to visit. We just fit together well,” Dean explained.

“And you realized you liked him. Did you know he liked you too?” Sam sat down on his bed and waited to see how his brother would answer.

“The night I spoke to you, I went to that party with him. I kept reaching out to take his hand because he was so nervous. Parties are ok for him but strangers talking to him, that makes him nervous, and the party was packed. I thought he’d pull away but he didn’t. He held on tight. Later we got to talking and I told him I liked him, and he told me he liked me too. We’ve been dating ever since.”

“And…everything is normal? It’s a normal relationship?” Sam was curious.

“Yes, Sam. There’s nothing wrong with Cas, just like there’s nothing wrong with you or me or Adam. A lot of people are on the spectrum. We just deal with shit and keep going. We all have quirks. It takes the right person to understand and accept them. I get Cas, and he gets me. I like him a lot.” Dean started for the door. “Adam’s over at his friend Jordan’s, but he said when he gets home he wants to kick your ass at Resident Evil. You better be ready for it.”

“Oh, he better be ready to get _his_ butt kicked!” Sam cried. Dean laughed as he left his brother’s room and crossed the hall to go into his own. Castiel was sprawled across the bed but he looked up, smiling when Dean walked in.

“Hello, handsome,” he greeted his boyfriend. Dean smiled and laid out next to him.

“Hello yourself.” 

“I like your family, they’re all very nice. I’m not sure Sam likes me though.” Castiel turned on his side to face Dean and reached over to put a hand on his stomach. Dean covered the hand with both of his own.

“Nah, Sammy’s just easily unnerved when people stare, and Aaron tried to scare us the day I moved in. Told us you were scary and had chased off your last roommate before we even got to the door. He had a misguided opinion of what you would be like. I, however, did not.”

“I’ll try not to stare.” Castiel moved closer, curling into Dean’s side and wrapping an arm around him.

“You can stare at me. I love your blue eyes.” Dean kissed the tip of his nose and Castiel made a sound very close to giggling.

“I can’t get enough of looking at you, Dean. You’re so beautiful. I’m just glad my OCD isn’t demanding that I count every single freckle I can see, though…” Castiel ran a hand up Dean’s stomach to his chest, feeling how the muscles fluttered beneath his fingertips. “I would like a better look at the ones I can’t see on a regular basis.”

“You’re getting better at the flirting. I….like it.” Dean grinned and turned on his side to face Castiel.

“It’s comfortable with you. _I’m_ comfortable with you. And you’re very attractive, Dean.” He leaned in closer to kiss Dean, moaning as his boyfriend pulled him closer, rolling onto his back and pulling Castiel down on top of him.

“It’s not fair, you making those kinds of noises. Teasing isn’t nice.” Dean kissed his way down Castiel’s jaw to his neck, loving all of the sounds the man was making. 

“I don’t mean to tease you. I…think I’m ready…to do other stuff, other than kissing, but not here, not in your parents’ house,” Castiel said with a sigh. He loved when Dean kissed him like this.

“Mmm, I agree. We’ll talk more about it when we get back to our dorm.”

A knock at the door interrupted them. Dean sighed heavily as he got off the bed and went to see who was there.

“Hey honey, you have company.” Mary was standing there and she smiled warmly at him.

“Charlie?” he asked. She chuckled.

“How’d you guess?”

“I’ll be down in a minute. I’m sure she’s enjoying a slice of pie and bugging Sam for the moment,” he laughed.

“And you’d be right. I’ll tell her you’re coming down.” She patted his cheek before walking away. He closed the door and turned around.

“Want to meet my other best friend?”

“Is it Charlie? I remember you telling me about her,” Castiel asked as he got up from the bed.

“Yep. I’m warning you ahead of time, she’s loud, she’s obnoxious, and she’s a bundle of energy, but she’s into all of the same stuff we are. She’s in school for computers.” He took his boyfriend’s hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it. “She’s going to love you.”

Castiel smiled. “I sure hope so.”


	8. Chapter 8

Charlie was in the living room with Adam playing The Walking Dead when they came downstairs.

“Hey, Red?” he called out to her. She paused the game and jumped up, smile turning to one of surprise when she saw Dean wasn’t alone.

“Hi, who’s this?” she asked.

“This is Castiel, my boyfriend. Every time I tried to call you and tell you I was seeing someone you were out or in class. I knew you’d be ticked if I just left you a voicemail,” he replied.

“It’s nice to meet you, Charlie. Dean has told me a lot about you.” Castiel offered a hand and she smiled as she shook it.

“It’s nice to meet you too Castiel. Wait, aren’t you Dean’s roommate?” 

“I am, that is how we met. We were friends first,” he replied.

“That’s awesome. My girlfriend Dorothy is my roommate too, that’s how we met.” 

“Oh, you’re…” He looked to Dean, not wanting to make assumptions.

“Yes, babe, Charlie here is our resident lesbian. She’s also the first person I told that I liked guys. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. Who do you think got me into comic books?” Dean nudged his friend and she bumped him back.

“So, you like comics?” She directed the question to Castiel. His eyes lit up as she asked that, and he nodded eagerly.

“I love them!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel continued to fit in well with the Winchester family. He cried when Mary and John handed him gifts on Christmas morning, and he cried again when the gifts Dean handed to his family were labeled from both of them. The rest of the trip was spent lounging around, something they had almost no time to do back at school, and spending time with the family. New Year’s Day they made the trip back to the school. They wanted time to readjust before starting back to their classes. And they wanted time to be alone.

The entire ride back Dean was thrumming with barely contained excitement. Castiel was busy chattering about how much fun he’d had on the trip, and how wonderful he thought each member of the Winchester family was.

“What’s your family like? Aren’t they loving?” Dean asked. Castiel shrugged.

“No, not so much. My dad was always working and my mom, she was always grading papers. She’s a high school math teacher. My brother and me, we were left to our own devices. As long as we kept our straight A averages, upheld the family’s name and made them proud, they didn’t care. I didn’t really have any friends, save for my friend Meg, so I just did my homework, read my comics, and watched my movies. I had more fun this week than I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve never felt so accepted before.” He was quiet for a moment. “I’d like, at spring break if you would come home with me to meet my parents. I hate going home to start with, but I think with you there with me, it will be better. And you can already deal with my brother, which is a plus.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah, I could put him in his place if he decides to be an ass again.”

Castiel grinned at that. “You might need to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one was short. I broke the chapters up weird and I do apologize for that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***SMUT***
> 
> It's their first time, give them a break. ;)
> 
> Sex between two people for the first time is one thing, but keep in mind Cas has Asperger's, so it's slightly different. Sensory issues, emotions, it all has to be taken into account as well as the need to have questions answered to alleviate possibly anxiety triggers. I hope that all makes sense. :)

When they reached the school it was already late. They had stopped for dinner, and someone had arrived from the rental agency to pick up the car by the time they pulled up front of their dorm. They dragged everything up to their room, taking in the silence around them as they went. Most everyone had gone home for the holidays and had not yet returned. Dean found that he liked the silence. It didn’t take them long to unpack and since Mary had made them wash all their dirty clothes before they left, there was nothing to sort out and add to their list of things to do. 

They finished their dinner of burgers and curled up on Dean’s bed to watch a movie on his laptop. They were still dressed in the clothes they’d come home in, but he was comfortable in his jeans and Henley, and Castiel seemed to be content in his usual button down, though Dean had managed to convince him to wear jeans rather than khakis. Dean had decided to wait and leave it up to Castiel to initiate the next move, so as excited as he was to take things to the next level, he simply laid back, let Castiel curl up against him and focused his attention on the movie. It felt nice to have Cas in his bed, pressed against him, and as they watched the movie he ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, loving how soft it felt. He loved how Castiel smelled and having him this close meant he could smell his shampoo, a soft scent of rain that was just so _Cas_. It brought a smile to his face that he didn’t even realize was there until Castiel pointed it out.

“What are you smiling about?” he asked.

“I’m just happy. I like lying here like this, holding you close, just watching movies,” Dean replied. Castiel smiled as he scooted closer. 

“I like this too. It’s nice. I like being close to you, touching you.” He slid a hand up under the edge of Dean’s Henley, smiling wider when a tiny gasp escaped Dean’s lips.

“Why Mr. Novak, _what_ are you up to?” Dean was grinning as his heart began to race.

“I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m just winging it,” Castiel laughed and buried his face against Dean’s neck. 

“There’s nothing wrong with winging it. What is it that you want though, babe?” Dean’s own fingers tugged lightly at the edge of Castiel’s shirt as he waited for an answer.

“What I want…is you, I’m just…I’ve never initiated anything before. I’m scared.” It came out as a whisper, and Dean could hear the fear in it. 

“I know it’s one thing to say it and another to show it, but you don’t have to be scared with me. I’m not going to hurt you or embarrass you. I promise. You just tell me what you want. I want to make you happy, Cas. That’s important to me.” Dean tucked a hand under Castiel’s chin and gently lifted it until he was looking into those incredible blue eyes. 

“I-I know that,” Castiel said.

“Then tell me sweetheart, what do you want?” Dean closed the laptop and set it on the floor. Turning to his boyfriend, he pressed him gently onto his back before sitting up to pull his own shirt off. He smiled as he watched his boyfriend’s eyes dilate. 

“You’re so beautiful, Dean. I love to look at you.” Castiel reached up, placing his hands on Dean’s chest, tentatively at first and then with more confidence as Dean pressed closer, urging him to touch, to feel. He looked into those blue eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation before he slowly began unbuttoning Castiel’s shirt. Once he had the last button undone he pulled the shirt open. 

“Give me a sec, move back,” Castiel sat up as soon as Dean dropped back onto the mattress and stretched out next to him. He practically ripped his button up off before pulling the tee shirt he had on underneath it over his head and tossing them both aside. 

Dean had only caught glimpses of Castiel without his shirt since they had first moved in together. The room was often cold and they both layered up to stay warm, and he’d felt bad even peeking when his boyfriend changed, but now? He had permission to not only look but to touch, and the moment Castiel was divested of shirts, he did exactly that. He pulled Castiel down, kissing him deeply as his hands explored every inch of exposed flesh. With Castiel he had learned that it was all or nothing, and he was ok with that. Later he’d work on the art of foreplay, but if this was going where Dean hoped it was going, he would let Castiel take the lead and dictate how fast or slow they should go. Right now, Castiel was lying half across him, kissing him for all he was worth. When they finally parted to catch their breath Dean decided it was a good time to find out exactly what his boyfriend’s previous sexual experience consisted of, and what he wanted to do right then. Dean could feel the erection straining against the front of Castiel’s jeans where their bodies were pressed together, and he was pretty sure his was obvious as well.

“Cas, baby? Can I ask you an honest question? Actually, a couple of questions? And they’re not designed to embarrass you, I just need to be sure of a few things.” 

Castiel sat back a bit, leaning on one elbow to look down at him. “What kind of questions?”

“You told me you’ve had sex before,” Dean said.

“That’s right.” 

“Like, what all did you two do? I am not looking for details, I just want to know what you want to do and what you might not be ready for.” Dean hoped he wasn’t ruining the moment he’d been waiting six excruciatingly long weeks for.

“Oh. I…we…had sex. Like penetrative.” Castiel blushed so hard his entire face was burning. He wanted to hide but Dean’s hands were slowly stroking up and down his sides in an attempt to reassure him, and he didn’t want to push Dean away. He’d spent his life pushing everyone away, but he didn’t want that with Dean.

“Is that what you want now with me?” Dean asked. Yep, Castiel’s face was threatening to melt off from sheer embarrassment.

“I would like to, yes, but I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not experienced at all.”

It took Dean’s brain a moment to catch up. Hurt him? Wait.

 _Oh_ … 

He swallowed hard and forced himself to remain calm. 

“Ok, babe. So you were…the top, I can assume?” 

Castiel nodded.

“Yes, though he opened himself up since I’d never done it before.”

“O-ok, I can…bottom. I just-I’ve never opened myself up,” Dean admitted.

“I know _how_ , I’ve just never done it. But I’m afraid to bottom.” Castiel groaned and buried his face against Dean’s chest but the warm skin was too irresistible to _not_ kiss. So he did. Dean gasped at the feeling of warm lips on his skin.

“It’s ok to be scared, Cas. It’s perfectly natural. And if we’re being completely honest here, I’m a little scared too. I’ve had sex only a handful of times before because I was too focused on trying to keep my grades up and get scholarships, and it’s been a while, but God I want this. Anything you’re willing to do, I’m game to try.” Dean let out a whimper when Castiel’s lips latched onto one of his nipples and sucked gently. After pressing a tender kiss to it, Castiel lifted his head to look at him.

“I want to be inside of you, Dean.”

Hearing those words sent a shiver through Dean. He moaned, noting how his boyfriend’s normally bright blue eyes darkened. Suddenly Castiel was undoing his belt, his long fingers pulling the zipper down on the jeans Dean was wearing. He lifted his hips, letting the pants be pulled off. The room was cold and his skin prickled as the cool air touched his warm body. He wanted to pull Castiel close, press against him for warmth, but his boyfriend had other things in mind. He was busy pulling Dean’s socks off and pushing the blankets back so they were out of the way. The twin bed they were in didn’t leave a lot of room for two grown men, but he was trying anyway. When he turned back to look at Dean, seeing the hard bulge in his boxer briefs he stared for a long moment before he looked up at Dean’s face.

“It’s ok, you can take them off,” Dean said, encouraging him to move past his fear and embarrassment. Castiel reached out, hooking his fingers in the edge of the waistband and this time he moved slowly to remove them.

“You are so perfect, Dean. I never thought I could have this, that someone would want me as broken as I am. You have no idea how much it means to me that you accept me as I am.”

Dean lifted his hips a second time as Castiel pulled the underwear off, but then Dean was pulling him down against him.

“I don’t know where you got the idea that you are broken, because you are not. You’re wonderful and amazing, and perfect for me. Anyone that wouldn’t take the time get to know you and to love you, well, they’re idiots. They have no idea what they are missing. I will admit though, I’m glad other guys passed you over.” 

Castiel lifted his head to look at him. “You are?”

“Well of course. They passed you over which means I got a chance with you, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I’m glad _you_ took a chance on _me_.” Dean kissed him deeply, moaning as Castiel’s tongue found its way into his mouth, sliding over his own. His boyfriend was an _amazing_ kisser.

“Is it too soon to say that I think I’m in love with you?” Castiel asked. Dean smiled and pushed a lock of hair off his boyfriend’s forehead.

“Nah, because I know I’m in love with you. I think I was already there before we told each other that we even liked one another. You’re special, Cas. Beautiful inside and out.”

Castiel snickered and rolled his eyes. “You’re a big sap, you know that?”

“I know. But you’re worth it.” Dean kissed the tip of his nose, delighting in the joy reflected back in Castiel’s eyes. He watched as his boyfriend sat back and took off his own jeans. It took a great amount of effort to lay still and not reach up to tear his boyfriend’s underwear off and swallow his cock down completely.

“Cas, have you ever gotten a blow job?” he asked.

“Once, in high school. A girl by the name of Rachel had a crush on me, but she didn’t come right out and tell me. Apparently she’d been hinting for weeks that she liked me. I was oblivious though. I didn’t pick up on stuff like that. Anyway, she followed me into the boys’ bathroom one day after school and locked the door behind her. When I came out of the stall and went to wash my hands I saw her. She started telling me how gorgeous she thought I was and how blue my eyes were, and how she wanted me to be her boyfriend. I was shocked. No girl, or guy for that matter, had ever approached me like that. I honestly had no idea how to react. She kept touching me and next thing I know she just dropped to her knees in front of me and undid my pants and pulled my… _dick_ …out. She was blowing me before my brain could even catch up to what was happening. She must have given a lot of them because I was hard in seconds and coming about a minute later, still numb and in shock that it had happened. When she stood up and tried to kiss me I had to stop her. I felt really bad when I had to tell her I was gay. I didn’t date so she assumed I was just playing hard to get, and when I was silent during her admittance of her feelings towards me, she took that to mean that I felt the same but was too shy to say it. She never spoke to me again after that. I felt bad, but I never asked for her to do it. If she would have given me the time I needed to find the right words I could have explained that I do not feel attracted to the female gender. She didn’t give me that chance though. I found out later from some other people that she had liked me for most of that school year. They thought she had just liked me, told me and I shot her down. She didn’t tell anyone about what happened in the bathroom and neither did I.” Castiel sighed deeply. “I feel like an awful person because…it felt good, even if I was picturing the captain of the football team doing it instead of her.” He smirked and Dean laughed.

“I want to give you one, would that be ok?” 

Castiel’s eyes widened. “Y-you do? I don’t want to come though, not before I can be inside of you.”

Dean shivered again at hearing that. He didn’t want to admit yet that he had never bottomed before. His curiosity about it was what made him keep his mouth shut. He wanted to experience it, and he trusted Cas above and beyond anyone else to take care of him and be gentle.

“Cas, baby, we’re young, and I’ll get you hard again, don’t worry about that. I just want you in my mouth right now really bad.”

Castiel gasped, his mouth falling slightly open as he gaped at Dean. 

“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Dean teased. Castiel narrowed his eyes, but he was smiling. Dean sat up and grabbed his boyfriend’s hips, guiding him gently until he was lying down on the bed. 

“Dean…” Castiel whimpered as the man pushed his legs apart and laid down between them.

“Shh, I promise it’ll be good.” Dean murmured before darting his tongue out to lick up the underside of Castiel’s cock. The man gasped, such a simple touch lighting every nerve in his body on fire. 

“I’m s-sensitive, be gentle, p-please!” Castiel pleaded. Dean took one of his hands and guided it to the back of his own head.

“I don’t mind getting my hair tugged. If I do something you don’t like, pull back, I’ll stop. Just…try not to choke me, ok?”

Castiel nodded eagerly as he clutched at Dean’s hair. Dean’s eyes flickered up to meet the blue ones that were watching him, already lust blown and full of need before he did what he’d been dying to do, and swallowed his boyfriend’s leaking cock down in one smooth move.

“F-fuck!” Castiel cried. Dean was always surprised to hear profanity spill from those perfect lips, but during sex it was fucking _hot_. He moaned softly as he began to move, slowly at first, bobbing his head and hollowing his cheeks before pulling back to swirl his tongue around the head, dipping into the slit to lick up the pre-come beading there. He expected to be pulled off at least a couple of times but it didn’t happen. Instead he found himself being pushed down, urging him to take all of his boyfriend’s cock again. So he did. He brought a hand up to knead gently at Castiel’s balls before pulling completely off his cock to suck his them into his mouth.

“ _Holy shit_!” Castiel screamed. If their neighbors had been home, they’d have no doubt heard him just then, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Dean’s mouth was amazing and it put to shame the pathetic excuse for a blow job he’d gotten all those years ago. His whimpers and moans just spurred Dean on. When he pushed Castiel’s legs farther apart so that he could lick along the tight ring of muscles hidden there, it proved to be what pushed him over the edge. With a strangled scream he came so hard he was left gasping for air for several minutes after. Dean pressed his lips to his boyfriend’s thighs, showering them in tender kisses as he rode out the aftershocks of the orgasm that had just ripped through him. He grabbed the shirt he had tossed aside earlier to clean up the mess his boyfriend had made.

“Dean, come here.” Castiel tugged at his hair since it was the only part he could reach and Dean went willingly, covering the man’s body with his own.

“So, I am guessing you liked that.” Dean murmured as he kissed a sensitive spot behind Castiel’s ear. He smiled to himself when the man shivered.

“That’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. I had not realized oral sex was so…involved, or that it could feel _that_ good. I almost want to be hard again right now so that I can experience that for a second time.” Castiel did giggle this time, and Dean grinned.

“I want you to save that for me. I want you inside me, baby, filling me up until I feel like I’m about to burst.” Dean kissed down Castiel’s neck to his collarbone, leaving small marks behind that would last for days. He felt his boyfriend’s cock twitch as it began to harden a second time. Continuing his ministrations, he licked, sucked, and nibbled his way down, leaving more marks in his wake. By the time he reached Castiel’s hips, the man was achingly hard again. He lapped up the pre-come dripping down Castiel’s cock and was debating on whether he just wanted to do what Cas wanted and give him another blow job when strong arms grabbed him and pulled him back up. Firm lips pressed against his own and then a hot tongue was in his mouth, seeking and finding his own. He grabbed at his boyfriend, clinging to him as though he were a sailor being tossed around at sea. 

He was guided onto his stomach and his legs were pushed apart with the same gentle patience. 

“I watch porn. I want to try a couple of things,” Castiel suddenly announced. Dean huffed out a laugh against the pillow his head was resting on.

“As long as you’re not going to hurt me, go for it.”

A warm hand came to rest on his buttocks. “I would never hurt you, Dean. I only want this to bring you pleasure, as much pleasure as you brought to me.” Castiel paused for a beat. “Have you ever been eaten out?”

Dean’s dick twitched in eager anticipation. “N-no.”

“Good. Stay right where you are, don’t move.” 

Dean felt the bed bounce as Castiel got up. He could hear the man rummaging around on the other side of the room, and then he was back, a warm hand sliding across the cool skin of Dean’s lower back as he positioned himself between Dean’s legs. He heard pop of the cap and knew Castiel had grabbed a bottle of lube. Why did it surprise him that his boyfriend had lube at all? The man had needs, just like anyone else did. He attributed it to the fact that he had never seen Castiel do anything except do homework or watch the occasional movie. Knowing that when Dean wasn’t around he was jacking off was incredibly hot. He wondered how often he’d been the object of his boyfriend’s fantasies before they started dating. The bed beneath him was getting wet from all the pre-come he was leaking just letting his mind get away from him the way it was doing. 

A warm, wet finger slid across his hole and he let out a moan. When it slipped inside he arched up, trying to push back on it, to encourage the man behind him to hurry and add his tongue. Apparently Castiel liked to take his time though. He moved his finger in and out slowly several times before leaning down to lick tentatively at his hole. Dean let out a moan, it felt good and he wanted more. He understood, Castiel was getting the hang of what he was doing so Dean didn’t push him. As much as he wanted to beg for more or demand that something more be done before he exploded, he stayed quiet, only letting out an occasional moan now and then. It must have been what the man needed to hear because he grew bolder, pulling his finger out, replacing it with his tongue. Dean cried out as pleasure he hadn’t experienced before rippled through him. God that felt _good_!!!

“Mmm, baby, that feels so good,” he purred. Firm hands grabbed his ass and pushed his cheeks apart to give his tongue better access, and then the man was really going to town, alternating between rimming him and fucking him with his tongue. When fingers were re-added he didn’t even flinch when this time there were two instead of just one. They were slick, moving in and out alongside Castiel’s tongue, stretching him as he whimpered and cursed, finally allowing himself to beg for more. A third finger was added, and the warm tongue that had been driving him crazy was removed. He was about to complain when those long fingers brushed against something inside him that made him scream. He was close to sobbing at how amazing that had felt. That bundle of nerves was brushed several more times once Castiel had figured out where it was and how to hit it over and over. Suddenly the fingers were completely withdrawn, and Dean couldn’t help the whine that spilled from his lips.

“Shh, it’s alright.” Castiel ran a hand soothingly down Dean’s back as he reached past him to pick something up off the floor.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked.

“I thought I’d be prepared. Come here, get up on your knees for me.” Castiel patted his side and Dean did as he was asked. A towel was spread out beneath him and then Dean heard the sound of something crinkling. A minute later Castiel was pulling him back against him as he lined himself up. “I already put a condom on, you don’t have to worry.” He pressed tender kisses to Dean’s back as he added more lube to his own sheathed cock and slowly began to push forward. 

Each time Dean groaned, Castiel froze, giving him the time he needed to adjust. Dean hadn’t realize just how big his boyfriend was until that cock was inside of his body. He forced himself to relax and slowly the burning sensation faded away, replaced by the pleasing feeling of being full. 

“Ok, move, Cas. Come on baby, show me what you’ve got,” he urged. Without a word Castiel began to move. 

It was slow at first, both men moaning at how good it felt, the simple slide of Castiel’s cock in and out, the press of his boyfriend’s body behind him as he draped himself over Dean’s back and wrapped his arms around his chest before he began to pick up speed. It felt amazing as the burn completely faded away to be replaced by more pleasure than Dean had ever experienced in his life. When Castiel shifted his hips slightly and hit his prostate, Dean screamed, and his boyfriend kept up a punishing pace, his cock brushing over that sensitive spot deep inside of him over and over again. 

As the tight coils of heat began to build up in Dean’s belly, signaling that an orgasm was almost there, he reached down to grab his own cock. He hissed when he realized his hand, and cock were dry. Before he could think to spit in his hand just for the sake of _something_ to lubricate his movements, his hand was knocked aside and another was curling around his length, stroking him hard and fast, keeping time with the thrusts. When Castiel’s cock hit his prostate at the same time the man’s thumb slid over the head of his own dick, he screamed as the most mind-blowing orgasm of his life hit him. His arms were shaking, threatening to give out, but Castiel was still pounding into him from behind and he pulled Dean up as he sat back on his heels, wrapping his arms around the man as he continued to thrust up into him. Dean leaned back into him, letting his head loll against Castiel’s shoulder, moaning again in pleasure. When his hips began to stutter, Dean knew the man was close. Castiel came with a shout, his entire body shaking as he clung to his boyfriend, needing the physical contact to keep him grounded. Finally his movements slowed and then stopped. He withdrew and reached around Dean to grab the towel on the bed. Dean was still in his lap, limp in his arms and he pressed tender kisses to his boyfriend’s neck and shoulder as he cleaned him up. He laid Dean out on his stomach, taking a moment to admire how gorgeous the man was before he removed the condom and cleaned himself up. The condom was tossed in the garbage and the towel was thrown in the hamper at the foot of the bed before he laid down and pulled Dean close.

“That was amazing, baby. I’ve never had sex that good before. Definitely doing that again. Soon.” Dean was on the verge of sleep but he managed a smile and to open his eyes just enough to see Castiel watching him, smiling back.

“I didn’t hurt you then?” he asked.

Dean rolled over so he could face him and scooted closer, wrapping the man in his arms. “No, sweetheart, you didn’t hurt me. I loved every moment of that. I was afraid to say anything before we did that but, I’ve never bottomed before. I always wanted to because I heard how good it can be, and I like not always having to be the one in control in the bedroom, and boy am I glad I did. That’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Really? That was your first time?” Castiel wasn’t sure just how experienced Dean was, and truthfully, he didn’t _want_ to know, but he hadn’t stopped to think that maybe there were things the man had never done before. He felt a strange pride knowing he was at least Dean’s first for something.

“Mmm, yes. I love you, Cas. I trust you.”

Castiel blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill and hugged Dean tighter.

“I love you too.”


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, 20 years in the future.

**20 YEARS LATER**

“Doctor Winchester? Your four thirty is here.”

Dean looked up from the chart he was updating to see his secretary, Cynthia, standing in the doorway.

“Parents, right? Show them in.”

“Yes. I’ll send them in.” She closed the door but a minute later it was opening again and a couple was walking in. Dean closed the chart he’d been working on and smiled at the two men who had just walked in. Standing up he leaned forward and offered his hand.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Winchester. I understand you adopted Jenny as a newborn and she’s displaying some behavioral issues the last year or so that you’re concerned about, is that right?”

Dean knew the parents to be Jay and Carter Forrester but he wasn’t sure who was who. “Why don’t we start with your names?”

“I’m Jay.” The man with a head full of curly black hair and eyes so dark brown they were almost black said as he shook Dean’s hand. “This is my husband, Carter.” He nodded towards the other man. Dean shook Carter’s hand as well before sitting back down. He pulled out a chart, one sent over from Jenny Forrester’s regular physician. There were detailed notes regarding her pediatrician’s concerns that the two-year-old was autistic.

“Yes, and Doctor Keller referred us to you, said you were the leading expert in your field,” Carter said.

“I am. So from what I’ve read, she is two years old but is not yet talking, and she’s been tested already for hearing loss and she can hear just fine. However she has some issues such as rocking and flapping her hands, is that right?”

Jay frowned as he nodded. “She was such a quiet baby, always kept to herself. Loves puzzles. She’ll sit for hours just rocking and solving them. If her daily routine gets disrupted she throws one mother of a tantrum. We’ve suspected for a while now that she might be autistic, but we want to get her officially diagnosed.” 

“Well, it would probably be easier on Jenny if I come to her rather than forcing her to come in here. Seeing her in her home surroundings often gives me better insight as to how a child’s mind works. We can set up a time where you are both home and I can come and meet her. Would that work better for you?” Dean asked. Both men looked relieved. It was clear that neither of them looked forward to hauling a temperamental two-year-old to his office.

“Yes, and any time between nine a.m. and nine p.m. would be fine,” Carter said.

“Alright. Talk to my secretary about setting up a time this week where I can come and meet her and we’ll go from there.” Dean jotted a couple of notes down in Jenny’s file, reminders to himself of things he wanted to test the little girl for.

“Uh, we heard a rumor over at the hospital. It was actually the reason we decided to choose you over the other specialist we were referred to,” Jay said. Dean set his pen down and looked up.

“I’m sure you did.”

“Is your husband…autistic?” Carter asked.

“He has high functioning Asperger’s. So does my youngest brother. My middle brother adopted a child four years ago that is severely autistic too. The child of a friend of his that died in an accident. I have two children myself and my daughter Madison is on the spectrum. So are my middle brother and I as well. It’s much more common than people think, and it’s not a death sentence. It is most certainly not the end of the world. My nephew Grayson is an amazing and highly intelligent child. Nonverbal, but he’s a computer genius. We use a program that a friend of mine created in order to converse with him. He understands perfectly what we are saying and responds through the program. It opened up a whole new world for him. There are advances being made all the time, and therapy is making more advances as well. It’s a whole new world that wasn’t available years ago. My husband? I met him in medical school. He is a doctor as well, specializing in pediatric oncology. Jenny is going to grow up to be a happy, healthy adult. We’ll take this one step at a time,” Dean told them. Both men seemed relieved and he was glad for that. They discussed a few more concerns they had about Jenny before the men left. Cynthia reappeared as Dean was finishing up the last notes in Jenny Forrester’s file.

“Your husband’s here,” she announced.

Right on time. Dean smiled.

“He can come in.” 

Thirty seconds later Cas was walking through the door with their daughter Madison on his hip and their son Tanner in the stroller.

“Hi, honey.” Cas set Madison down in one of the chairs and handed her the tablet they kept for her. She sat back and immediately began playing her games on it. He came around the desk to kiss Dean. “How was work?” he asked.

“I have another eval. A two-year-old girl. Her parents suspect she is autistic and after reading through her chart, I’m inclined to agree,” Dean replied with a sigh. He looked over at his daughter, who was rocking slightly in her seat as she drew on the tablet screen with a stylus.

“Daddy, I colored a puppy!” she announced happily as she turned the tablet so he could see.

“That’s fantastic, princess!” 

She giggled and went back to drawing.

“I had a talk with Maddie’s teacher today. The teacher’s assistant assigned to Maddie took her eye off her and another boy pushed her down during recess. They called me and I went down there. She’d already had a meltdown, so I took her home. She’s feeling better now though and wanted to come with to pick you up. She didn’t want to stay with grandma,” Cas told him.

“No grandma,” Maddie said, sticking her lower lip out. Dean snickered.

“That’s fine. I have a pot roast in the crock pot. Let’s go home and eat, I’m starving,” he said as he got up. Walking around the front of his desk he approached the stroller where their son was sound asleep. God he loved his children. As Cas slipped an arm around his waist he turned to kiss the man. All these years and Cas was still the most beautiful and amazing man he had ever known. 

“How was your day? Aside from the school detour,” he asked. Cas gave him a squeeze before he went and picked Maddie up. Dean hung up his white coat on the rack in the corner before taking the stroller and pushing it out into the hall. He closed the door and locked it. Cas had set Madison down and she had run straight to Cynthia, who was tickling the little girl and making her giggle. Dean loved the sound of his daughter’s laughter. It was music to his ears.

“My day was good. Unfortunately there was a new leukemia diagnosis. I wish the prognosis was better. Sixteen-month-old little boy. Made me think of Tanner. I had to excuse myself after I’d given the parents the news because I was in tears,” Cas said. Dean pulled him close as they started for the office door. Cynthia had already shut everything down and was ushering Madison along behind them.

“Oh honey, you should have called me. I don’t like you going through things like that alone.” Dean kissed his husband on the cheek softly as Cas leaned into it. 

“I know. I did call but I got your voicemail, so I assumed you were with a patient.”

“Most likely. This was a very busy day,” Dean admitted.

“Fifteen appointments since nine this morning,” Cynthia added.

Out in the parking lot they said goodbye to Cynthia and loaded the kids into the car. Tanner woke up long enough to smile sleepily at Dean before conking out again. Newborns were such innocent little things.

Dean drove and they went straight home. Once they were inside Cas took over with Madison, getting her out of her coat and shoes and then into the bathroom to wash her hands for dinner while Dean checked on the food. When Tanner began to stir in his carseat he got a bottle ready and carried the baby into the living room so he could sit down and feed him. He and Cas had a routine and it worked for both of them. Trying to handle a rambunctious five-year-old and a newborn required a coordination much akin to the perfect workings of a ballet. While Cas got Madison fed, Dean got Tanner fed and changed. When Tanner was placed in his swing and Madison was sent to her room to play, they sat down to dinner together. This was their time, the few minutes they had to themselves before their night routine started. As stressful and busy as their lives were, neither man would change it for anything in the world. 

It wasn’t even a year into their relationship that Dean knew Cas was the one. He loved the man more than anything in the world and he told him as much, but same sex marriage wasn’t legal yet. In their third year of medical school he proposed. Cas had said yes, but they couldn’t do anything about it other than a commitment ceremony until same sex marriage was made legal. They decided first to do their residencies in California where at least their partnership was accepted and the moment the first state, Massachusetts, made same sex marriage legal in 2004 they applied for jobs at hospitals all over the state. Cas found a job first and it was good enough for them both. They packed up and moved across the country. A week later they were officially married. 

Dean’s family had moved to Illinois in 2005 and in 2013, when the marriage law was passed there, he and Cas joined them. They renewed their wedding vows so that everything remained legal in that state, and they set up new practices. Cas was part of the oncology team at Children’s Hospital while Dean had his own private practice, receiving referrals from nearby hospitals. They had survived twenty years together and they had no doubt that they would survive another fifty. Cas was the love of Dean’s life and he knew he was the love of Cas’. Their life was by no means perfect, but it was theirs, and they were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the story. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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